Panic Attack

So, I've been debating with myself for quite some time now...deciding whether to post this poem or not. It's super personal and a real expression of my heart and to be honest it sorta scares me. It scare me to be this open and vulnerable. But I asked myself today what the purpose of this blog was and what the purpose of my poetry was and something that came to mind was that I wanted to help others find their voice when they can't...to be the voice for them...to speak to their heart through mine. And it dawned on me...I can't hide the something that makes me vulnerable or that speaks truly from my heart because what if someone else needs to hear those words. So here I go...leaving my heart on the screen...here is Panic Attack.

Panic Attack

Having a panic attack

the world is crashing in

my heart quickens

my world spins

my lungs constrict

knees buckle

weight of the world

no scream escapes

walls crowding in

I'm raising the white flag

I surrender

I give up

but that doesn't stop it...it continues

Uncle

I cry Uncle.

I stop struggling

let the water encompass me

tag me out

wheres the person i pass the baton too

why won't it stop

it won't

Uncle

I cry Uncle.

panic attack

becomes reality

becomes constant

becomes life

let it be over

What other way of surrender is there?

I give up

I concede

I loose

I yield

I abandon my post

relinquish

resign

I do.

I cease and desist

give way

succumb

buckle under the weight

cave in

eat crow, humble pie and dirt

I'l pack it in, part with it, play dead, roll over, throw in the towel, toss it in, wash my hands

I'll be the chicken,

I'll be a weasel

Welsh

worm and wiggle out

a failure.

Just let it be over.

Please.

Just let this end.