Nocturnal

I hate day time.
Why can't I be nocturnal?
I hate day light.

I want to sleep
when others are awake;
I want to be awake
when others sleep.

Why can't I be a bat?
Hiding in day light,
pretending not to be there.

Why can't I be an owl.
I'll awake at midnight,
hide till midnight,
come alive at midnight.
And at midnight
I'll be alone,
no one will see me,
bother me,
talk to me.

I'll be safe,
unbothered,
alone.

I love the night,
the dark,
the stars.
I come alive,
at night,
in the dark,
under the stars.

I'll be nocturnal.  I'll be a bat...an owl.
I'll be alive.

When I Wake

Waking up with tears in my eyes,
Dreams not so sweet,
Bed bugs bite,
Sheets got tangled,
And my head was matted with sweat.
Sleeping in disturbia,
Restless,
curled in a ball
in the fetal position,
I fought with my dreams.
Ran from my nightmares,
But couldn't escape.
They've captured me.
Tormented me.
There is no rest
here.
There is no sleeping
here.

I felt the pea
all night long.

The dark encompasses me
shrouding me in fear
and I am lost,
tired
and unable to sleep.

Yet,
I sleep...
If you can call it that?
This was no restfulness.

So when I wake,
when I open my eyes
to the rising of the sun,
I have tears in my eyes.
Unaware of their presence
and unsure how they got there,
the tears remain.
In my eyes,
when I wake.

Bitter Sweet

This tastes so bitter sweet
the path your feet
have taken to be free
have taken you away from me.

I want you to be
Happy.  Even if that is without me.
I wish nothing but the best
of my heart, you've taken the rest.

So go.
I love you more then you'll ever know.
But don't let this opportunity go to waste,
no matter how bitter sweet this tastes.

Panic Attack

So, I've been debating with myself for quite some time now...deciding whether to post this poem or not. It's super personal and a real expression of my heart and to be honest it sorta scares me. It scare me to be this open and vulnerable. But I asked myself today what the purpose of this blog was and what the purpose of my poetry was and something that came to mind was that I wanted to help others find their voice when they can't...to be the voice for them...to speak to their heart through mine. And it dawned on me...I can't hide the something that makes me vulnerable or that speaks truly from my heart because what if someone else needs to hear those words. So here I go...leaving my heart on the screen...here is Panic Attack.

Panic Attack

Having a panic attack

the world is crashing in

my heart quickens

my world spins

my lungs constrict

knees buckle

weight of the world

no scream escapes

walls crowding in

I'm raising the white flag

I surrender

I give up

but that doesn't stop it...it continues

Uncle

I cry Uncle.

I stop struggling

let the water encompass me

tag me out

wheres the person i pass the baton too

why won't it stop

it won't

Uncle

I cry Uncle.

panic attack

becomes reality

becomes constant

becomes life

let it be over

What other way of surrender is there?

I give up

I concede

I loose

I yield

I abandon my post

relinquish

resign

I do.

I cease and desist

give way

succumb

buckle under the weight

cave in

eat crow, humble pie and dirt

I'l pack it in, part with it, play dead, roll over, throw in the towel, toss it in, wash my hands

I'll be the chicken,

I'll be a weasel

Welsh

worm and wiggle out

a failure.

Just let it be over.

Please.

Just let this end.

Balloons

So who doesn't love a balloon (okay maybe someone whose allergic to latex but they are missing out!)...I felt inspired by these beautiful balloon pictures I found courtesy of the great google and I thought they went perfectly with these two poems I wrote a while ago. I know they are a bit small but if you click on the picture you should be able to see a bigger picture of it.

"Today is the day" a poem by me, a picture from the internet.

"Floating Along" a poem by me a picture from the internet.

Now I'm sorta inspired to do a photo shoot using balloons. Hmm...maybe when the weather gets a bit nicer. Enjoy!

Words

Words.

Where are you?

Floating in outer space?

Words.

I can't find you.

Searching head case.

Words.

i need you.

Out of place

Words,

Come find me.

To my rescue, race.

To Write For The Love Of It Illustrated